... when your child helps out around the house, they are given a sense of purpose and belonging, and that is one of the best things you can offer them. 

When it comes to kids helping with chores around the house, it’s a Catch-22! While we would love more help around the house, the process of teaching our child how to complete a chore can feel like more work than just doing it ourselves. So, what can we do?

Step 1: Let go!

When any child is learning something new, it will take time for them to learn how to do it properly. It is important to let go of perfection and allow their imperfect skills to be okay while they learn. Consider starting your child with a chore that you will not mind having done imperfectly. This way, your child can feel successful and proud of their work, and you won’t feel the need to come behind them and re-do the task.

Step 2: Pick something they might already have an interest in. 

If your child likes water, perhaps wiping a table or helping with dishes is a good option. Or, if they enjoy being outside, they can help you water the plants. Thinking along these lines might help you determine where to start, but it is okay if there is no preferred activity at first.

Step 3: Start small.

Start by having your child help you with a chore before they are expected to do it independently. Most chores can be broken down into steps. A great way to tackle this is to have your child help you with all of the steps first, then have them complete the last step independently and work backward.  

Example: Wiping the table might have these steps:

1. Get a wipe (or cloth or towel or whatever your family uses to wipe the table)

2. Bring it to the table.

3. Wipe all areas of the table.

4. Throw or put away the wipe/ towel, etc.

At first, you may have them help you with the entire process, but eventually, they do the last step- throwing or putting away the wipe/ towel- on their own. Thus, they enjoy the satisfaction of completing the task. Next, you might help them with the first two steps and ask them to complete the last two steps on their own. As they gain independence, you should expect them to complete more steps until they do it all independently. In ABA, this is called “backward chaining”. Start with one chore at a time. Trying to teach too many things at once might overwhelm both you and your child.

Step 4: Reinforce and encourage your child.

Reinforce your child as they engage and try to complete the chore, whatever their skill level. Perhaps you offer a hug or verbal praise, or maybe your child can have a favorite toy or snack they might not otherwise have after completing their chore. As your child gets better at each step, be sure to adjust your reinforcement so that they only get reinforced by the highest level of skill and completion they can get to. For example, in the beginning, you may need to reinforce them simply for throwing away the wipe, but soon you may only reinforce them after they wipe the table AND throw away the wipe successfully.

Step 5: Consider changing things up.

If you quickly find that the skill you are trying to teach is much harder for your child than you thought it would be or is incredibly aversive for other reasons, feel free to try something else. There is learning for you and your child involved here!

Step 6: Have fun!

While chores might not always be fun, trying to enjoy time with our kids, being present with them, and noticing even the smallest improvements can bring so much joy and make tedious tasks less challenging. 

Remember, when your child helps out around the house, they are given a sense of purpose and belonging, and that is one of the best things you can offer them.

Resources:

• To download a PDF of the Doing Dishes visual aid below to use at home, click here.

• To download a PDF of the Chores By Age sheet below, click here.

• Visit Teachers Pay Teachers to find several editable visual aids, and some for free!